কমিউনিকেশনে মন দিন, নির্ভুলের দিকে নয়

পৃথিবীটা সরল-ভাষায় সাদা-কালো নয়, এখানে পারফেক্ট বা নির্ভুল বলে আসলে কিছু নাই।আমরা কথা বলা কিংবা কোন কমিউনিকেশনে কি বলতে চাই তার চেয়ে কি বলছি তা শুদ্ধ অশুদ্ধ বা কতটা ঠিক সেটি নিয়ে বেশি দুশ্চিন্তা করি। আমরা সঠিক-বেঠিক চিন্তা করতে করতে কখন যে বেশি কথা বলে ফেলি সেদিকে মনোযোগ দিতে পারি না। 

আমরা যদি আসলে কোন বিষয় বা বক্তব্য ১৪০ শব্দে বা ১৬০ শব্দে প্রকাশ করতে না পারি তাহলেই সেখানেই বেশি নয়েজ তৈরি হবে। মেসেঞ্জারের এই দুনিয়াতে আমরা প্রতি মুহূর্তেই বার্তা পাঠাই, আসলে বেশিরভাগ বার্তাই নয়েজ। কি বলছি, কি শুনছি-কোন কিছুতেই আমাদের নিয়ন্ত্রণ নাই। যা বলতে চাই, তার আগে পরে এত বিশেষণ, এত কথা বলি যে মূল কথাই হারিয়ে যায়। পত্রিকায় যেমন শিরোনামে পুরো রিপোর্টের সারমর্ম থাকে, কেউ পড়ুক না পড়ুক শিরোনাম দেখে ৪৬ শতাংশ বুঝে যায়, তেমনি হওয়া দরকার আমাদের বার্তাগুলো।

মূল কথা মূল রাখাই ভালো, কোন পারস্পেকটিভ যোগ করার কোন মানে নাই। এটা অনেকটা অংকের ২+২=৪ এর মত, বেশি বললেই বেশি নয়েজ আর তখনই অন্যরা কেউ বুঝবে না।

কমিউনিকেশনের আরেকটা বল ভুল হচ্ছে “I am right and you are wrong”, এটা মারাত্মক-খেয়াল রাখতে হবে। আমি মনে মনে বিশ্বাস করি, ছেড়ে দিয়ে যদি জেতা যায় তাহলে ছেড়ে দিন। আটকে আঁকড়ে ধরে যন্ত্রণার কোন মানে নেই।

VIA

How to Vastly Improve Your Communication Skills in 10 Minutes

Communication is much harder for people than they think it is;

Anybody can say what they’re feeling, describe something, and communicate with the people around them. However, how effective is that communication? And how much of it is just random fluff that really doesn’t help convey their message?

There’s a concept in the sales world called Kiss versus kill. Which basically means keeping it short and simple, versus keeping it long and lengthy.

You can see where I’m going with this…

An amateur salesman would likely kill the sale buy going on and on about unimportant details. On the other hand, a good salesman would make sure to target and deliver all the important points in the shortest time possible, making it much easier to close the deal.

How does this help you in everyday life?

It shows you just how much of a difference the way you communicate can affect other people. Their decision to trust you, like you, buy from you, help you, and so on.

Here are some very simple techniques you can adopt within 10 minutes, to vastly improve your communication skills:

1. Focus on Quality

The first lesson in order to vastly improve your communication skills, is to focus on quality.

If you can, try to remove all types of filler words like; “I guess” and “well you know”.

These words bring absolutely no value to the conversation and they literally mean nothing. They are simply being used to drag the conversation out, and it takes much longer to get to the point.

Listen to the following paragraph:

“What did you do this winter? Well I had an okay time, I went snowboarding for the first time with some of my friends and it was actually a lot harder than it looked.”

Now compare it to this:

“What did you do this winter? My friends and I went snowboarding, it was actually my first time and it was a lot harder than it looked.”

Notice how the second version is much shorter but the information being conveyed is the exact same. However, it sounds more confident and even more sophisticated.

Instead of using these words that clutter the overall conversation, try using pauses for effectiveness…

2. Emphasize Your Speech with Pauses

Using pauses can be very effective, instead of filling the conversation with useless words. Pauses can emphasize different parts of the message and help deliver a much more powerful communication.

Don’t be afraid to pause every once in a while, instead of relying on filler words to get you through the speech with no awkward silences.

Pauses can be very powerful and can emphasize different parts of the message, but we will talk a little more about that in the next lesson on improving your communication.

Here’s a quick example of this before we move on. This is using the exact same sentence as before, however this time we’re taking advantage of pauses.

“Some friends and I went snowboarding. It was actually my first time, but it was a lot harder than it looked.”

The following skill is probably the single most important skill in terms of overall conversation ability. If you can Master this one skill you’ll be able to have endless conversations with pretty much anybody.

3. Pick Topics That Can Be Branched

This is an absolute genius technique for improving communication skills. It’ll also pretty much guarantee that you never run out of things to say. Look at the following sentence:

“I live in New York City, but I’ve always wanted to move to the suburbs, and I hate being around too many people. It’s because I love nature and I hate being around so many people.”

There are four different topics that you can Branch off from here:

• You can talk about that time you wanted to visit in York City.
• You can talk about how you feel living in the suburbs.
• You can talk about your relationship with nature
• You can also talk about how you’re an introvert and how you can relate with their hate of being around so many people.

When the conversation dies it’s usually because there are no other topics to talk about that are interesting.

So when given the opportunity to branch off into different topics, choose one that you’re interested in talking about. Also keep in mind that you want to be giving the other person opportunities to talk about multiple topics as well. If you don’t give them topics to Branch off to the conversation will eventually reach a dead end.

The skill comes with practice.

The more you will notice them look for topics to bounce off of the more you will notice them.

Here’s another sentence:

“I like going to the gym. There’s a sense of satisfaction I get when I see myself getting better at something.”

There are three different topics that you can Branch off from here:

• you can talk about how you like going to the gym
• you can talk about something that satisfies you
• you can also talk about something that you got better at

4. Don’t Ask Too Many Questions

Think back to the last time you went on an interview. When I think of interviews I think of something that is high tension, nerve-racking and definitely not something the average person enjoys going through.

A common mistake that a lot of people make when meeting someone new is entering what I like to call interview mode. They bombard the other person with question, after question, after question, and this can be extremely uncomfortable. The issue with asking too many questions is that a makes the conversation very one-sided.

When you ask a question, you’re not sharing any information about yourself. All you’re doing is demanding information from the other person.

This is where that uncomfortable feeling comes from. The lack of connection that’s being built. You want to be sharing information about yourself as much as possible so that you can build rapport and build a connection.

5. Use Statements Instead of Questions

The last tip on this list is to use statements instead of questions.

When you make statements, you share information about yourself pay attention to the next time you hang out with your close friends or buddies you’ll notice that the majority of the conversation is with statements.

Once in a while a question is thrown in as a natural step in the conversation. But the large majority will be statements. There are a lot of different types of statements, however here are a few of the main ones:

1. Story/Opinion Statements

The opinion statement tells a story or shows your opinion on something.

Here is an example of a question: What are you scared of?

Here is an example of the story statement being used to replace this question:

“I used to be terrified of the dark when I was a kid. I would sleep with my head under the covers to hide from all the monsters and ghosts.”

Notice how the question shares nothing about yourself. It doesn’t really give the other person any information besides answering your question; so you’re only giving them one thing to talk about.

On the other hand, the story statement shares information, while it also gives the other person opportunities to talk about different topics.

You’re giving them different things to thread off of:

• They can talk about whether or not they’re scared of the dark
• They can talk about things that used to do when they were a kid
• They can even tell ghost stories

2. Cold Read Statement

The cold read statement is a great way to use statements with someone you just met.

It’s an observation about the other person. Instead of saying “What do you like to do for fun?” say something like; “You seem like a fun person I bet you have some interesting hobbies.”

This is a great trick because the person can respond in three different ways:

One: you’re wrong and don’t correct you I’m actually not fun I sleep all day over to your wrong but you’ll be asked why you.

Two: I’m actually not fun but I’m curious as to why you thought that I was

Three: you’re correct and a large amount of report will be built instantaneously I am fun I love to dance and sing with but how did you know.

Each of these ways gives you many more opportunities to branch off into different topics; as compared to the simple question: “What do you do for fun?”. So you’re sharing information first and you’re not asking anything from them. It’s up to them to decide how to respond.

3. Random Statements

Finally, we have the random statement:

Fairly self-explanatory; they’re completely random statements that literally just pop into your mind. They can range from anything including thing happening around you, observation stories, and so on. There is a whole lot of things you could talk about.

And doing this can make you an incredibly interesting and curious person to other people, especially on dates. The more random, the better. Why? Because it throws people off guard, and opens them up.

They’ve been asked the same damn questions every time they go on a date, or meet someone new.

This time, you’re providing random conversation which is guaranteed to get them out of that boring question slump.

Here are some examples:

“I’m tired of my friends all they do is talk about sports all day.”

“I’m thinking about taking a year off from school.”

Each of these statements share a lot of information about yourself they also provide multiple toppings to Branch off into and finally they bring a sense of creativity and spontaneousness to the conversation.

Summary

Here’s a quick recap of the 3 simple tips you can use to improve your communication skills:

1. Focus on quality
2. Emphasize phrases with pauses
3. Pick topics you can branch
4. Don’t ask too many questions
5. Use statements instead of questions

Remember conversation is a skill, and just like any skill there is a key to learning it.

But the most growth will come from experience, when you actually go out there and you practice what you’ve learned. Apply these tips to help improve your communication skills in the future.

Click here for original link. 

10 Presentation Tips to Sell Your Ideas In the Steve Jobs Way

1. Plan the presentation using pen and paper

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Steve Jobs used to plan his preparations by sketching and white-boarding before he creating his presentation. All the facts and main points should be collected before any slides are created.

2. There should be a short & precise description for idea

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All the ideas in the presentation should be written in a way that it gives short and accurate meaning to the person who sees it. Steve Jobs used ‘The world’s thinnest notebook’ for presenting Macbook Air in 2008.

3. Create a villain

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A ‘villain’ clarifies your idea in a better way. It is not compursly to make your competitor as a villain, one can also show a problem as a villain and its solution as the hero of the story.

4. Focus mainly on benefits

This is important for ad agencies to remember. Your audience only cares about how your service will benefit them so lead with benefits rather than agency credentials and capabilities.

5. Stick to less number of presentations

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Most of the Steve Jobs presentations were divided into three parts. There can be many points to explain, but the audience only remembers 3 or 4 points.

6. Sell dreams

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Steve Jobs never focussed on selling the products he made. He always tried to contribute to create a better world through his products and services.

7. Use attractive images

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Steve Jobs never used bullet points in his presentations. He made the perfect use of images in the slides as he was aware of the fact that images have a deep effect on human mind and people remember images for a longer time than the text.

8. Make meaningful numbers

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Steve always used numbers in a way that was relevant and meaningful to the audience. Comparisons through numbers makes it easier to understand the idea.

9. Use simple language

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The language that Steve Jobs used in his presentations was very simple and easy to understand. If you use difficult and unusual words in the presentation then situation can become very uncomfortable for normal people.

10. Make sure you practice your presentation

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The points we discussed above are of no use if one doesn’t practice the presentation before getting in action. Practice helps us to know our faults and it is better to change things during practice rather than getting stuck in the presentation.

(Source/Credit)

How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

PART 1

There Are 3 Parts to Understand For Making People Like Us They Are:

1) Meeting   2) Rapport 3) Communicate

1) Meeting: In Meeting We Meet the Person and Let Them Know Within Few Seconds Our Positive Attitude with the Use of 5 Tricks.

1. Be Open
2. Eye Contact
3. Beam
4. Greetings (Hi)
5. Lean  

2) For Rapport I Have Given 3 Tips

• Attitude
• Art of Synchronization >> 3 V’s of communication:

1. Visual (55%-Body Language) >> Mirroring
2. Vocal (38%-Voice Tone)  >> Sync Voice Tone, Voice Volume & Speed
3. Verbal (7%-Words/Discussion/Communication)

Harmony of 3 V make us believe

• Congruity

Part 2

3) Communicate:  4 Techniques Discussed Here Are

1. Open And Closed Questions
2. Threading > Word Detective  >> Active Listening << Can Talk A Lot by Creating Powerful Rapport & Emotional Connection
3. Question Words >> Why, What, How, When, Where, Who << Builds Rapport & Emotional Connection
4. Talking In Colors >> Colorful painting in experience >> Paint a colorful imagination. 

UNIVERSAL HUMAN BEHAVIOUR: WE LOVE PEOPLE WITH SIMILARITIES 

Thank you

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

Part 1: 3 Piller

2nd Part: Last 3 Piller 

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem:

1) PRACTICE OF LIVING LIFE CONSCIOUSLY
2) PRACTICE OF SELF ACCEPTANCE
3) PRACTICE OF BEING ASSERTIVE

4) PRACTICE OF SELF RESPONSIBILITY
5) PRACTICE OF LIVING LIFE PURPOSEFULLY
6) PRACTICE OF INTEGRITY

Practice Makes Perfect

Self-esteem is not an idea or an affirmation. It’s a practice.

Remember it’s not about memorizing inspiring words or having stimulating conversations, it’s about practicing and living our core truths.

1. The Practice of Living Consciously

The practice of living consciously is the first pillar of self-esteem.

Throughout the book, Branden writes about the practice of sentence completions as a powerful tool for living more consciously.

“Sentence-completion work is a deceptively simple yet uniquely powerful tool for raising self-understanding, self-esteem and personal effectiveness. It rests on the premise that all of us have more knowledge than we normally are aware of — more wisdom than we use, more potential than typically shows up in our behavior. Sentence completion is a tool for accessing and activating these ‘hidden resources.’”

Basic idea: Take a sentence stem (like “Living consciously to me means . . .”) and create six to 10 completions of that sentence. The only rule is that each ending needs to create a grammatical sentence. Write quickly, don’t stop to think, and as Branden advises: “Any ending is fine, just keep going.”

Try these on:
• If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities today . . .
• If I pay more attention to how I deal with people today . . .
• If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my insecurities then . . .
• If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my priorities then . . .

2. The Practice of Self-Acceptance

Branden beautifully articulates the need to practice self-acceptance: “We can run not only from our dark side but also from our bright side — from anything that threatens to make us stand out or stand alone, or that calls for the awakening of the hero within us, or that asks that we break through to a higher level of consciousness and reach a higher ground of integrity. The greatest crime we commit against ourselves is not that we may deny or disown our shortcomings, but that we deny and disown our greatness — because it frightens us.”

In addition to the acceptance of our light, he advises us that “nothing does as much for an individual’s self-esteem as becoming aware of and accepting disowned parts of the self. The first steps of healing and growth are awareness and acceptance — consciousness and integration.”

3. The Practice of Self-Responsibility

“I am responsible for my choices and actions,” Branden writes. “To be ‘responsible’ in this context means responsible not as the recipient of moral blame or guilt, but responsible as the chief causal agent in my life and behavior.”

We’re responsible when we’re able to respond to life’s challenges as healthy, autonomous human beings — not as victims, blaming this or that for our challenges, but as individuals who own our abilities to manifest our desires as we engage in life.

4. The Practice of Self-Assertiveness

“To practice self-assertiveness is to live authentically, to speak and act from my innermost convictions and feelings — as a way of life, as a rule,” Branden notes.

The essence of this pillar is to be real. To drive this point home, remember the idea that “authentic” and “author” come from the same root. To be authentic is literally to be the author of your own story. Are you?

Branden continues: “Warren Bennis [the founding chairman of the Leadership Institute at the University of Southern California and a pioneer in the contemporary field of leadership studies] tells us that the basic passion in the best leaders he has studied is for self-expression. Their work is clearly a vehicle for self-actualization. Their desire is to bring ‘who they are’ into the world, into reality, which I speak of as the practice of self-assertiveness.”

5. The Practice of Living Purposefully

“To live purposefully,” Branden explains, “is to use our powers for the attainment of goals we have selected: the goal of studying, of raising a family, of starting a new business, of solving a scientific problem, of building a vacation home, of sustaining a happy romantic relationship. It is our goals that lead us forward, that call on the exercise of our faculties, that energize our existence.”

So, what are your goals? What deeply inspires you? These aren’t things that you think would impress others, but the visions that deeply resonate with your highest values and ideals.

Branden notes: “People rarely ask themselves, ‘If my goal is to have a successful relationship, what must I do? What actions are needed to create and sustain trust, intimacy, continuing self-disclosure, excitement, growth?’”

First question: What do you want? Second question: What must you do? As Branden reminds us: “Purposes unrelated to a plan of action do not get realized. They exist as frustrated yearnings.”

6. The Practice of Personal Integrity

Without practicing personal integrity, the preceding practices disintegrate. “Integrity is the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs — and behavior,” writes Branden. “When our behavior is congruent with our professed values, when ideals and practice match up, we have integrity.”

Do your ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs and behavior all line up?

And, perhaps even more important, do you have a sense of what your ideals, convictions, standards and beliefs are to use as a basis for measuring how you’re doing?

Small Improvements, Big Results

Branden writes. “Small improvements make a difference.”

Perfection is not the standard we’re looking for here. 

(Courtesy)

25 Ways To Win With People by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott.

Communication and people skills are very important in all of our lives. But still very few of us are really pro in these field hence today in this how to attract people in 30 second video  will share 5 techniques, tricks and ways shared by author John C Maxwell. 

Top 5 tricks share here are:

1- 30 Second Rule : Attention > Affirmation >Appreciation
2- Let People Know You Need Them
3- Create Memories
4- Compliment Others In Front Of Others 
5- Right Words At Right Time :  A) Context And B) Say With Heart


Chapter wise Summary:

Chapter 1: START WITH YOURSELF

Here Author says that you can’t give what you don’t have and your relationship can only be as healthy as you are, hence if you want to make people around you feel good or great then you first need to start with yourself, before making anybody feel good, then you must become a great human being first, you need to solve your life problems first and should look for improvement areas in yourself first.

Chapter 2: THE 30 SECOND RULE

Here author says that in the first 30 seconds of your conversation with someone, you must say something good or encouraging to them because once saying good and encouraging becomes your habit then people will light up when you will walk in any room.

AUTHOR Has also shared the way you can make it a habit, author says that to open calendar every day and look at the people you will be going to meet during the day, when you know whom you will be going to meet then plan something encouraging to say, it can be anything,  like can think about the thing which they have done for you or what you find good in them or for what things you are thankful to them or about their accomplishments etc.

Chapter 3: LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU NEED THEM:

Author says that every individual in this world likes to feel helpful and needed, hence in order to maintain a healthy and positive relationship with people you must think that who can be helpful in your life, who can support you throughout your life, whose support motivates you and once you know that then go to them and tell them how much they mean to you.

Chapter 4: CREATE A MEMORY AND VISIT IT OFTEN:

Author says that you must create something memorable with people around you, make those memorable moments your memories, make those memories immortalize, save them by clicking pictures, and whenever you want to feel blessed and happy revisit those memories by seeing those pictures, show those pictures to people whom you had those wonderful memories, talk about those memories laugh about them, relive those stories together, this thing will make you feel happy and will create a strong bond.

Chapter 5: COMPLIMENT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE:

Giving a compliment to someone is the best way to make someone or others feel good, But compliment becomes more powerful and genuine when it is given to someone in front of many people, when you compliment someone In front of public, then that person will do his best to uphold it, that person will always behave in line with that compliment, hence always try to compliment someone in public.

Chapter 6: GIVE REPUTATION TO UPHOLD:

Here author says that giving a reputation to uphold leverages the commitment and consistency, Maxwell says that a great way to do it is to actually find a nickname for the person that will embody a quality they possess. And then use that nickname or repeat their quality often so that it will get associated with them.

Chapter 7: ENCOURAGE THEIR DREAMS:

Here author says that you must ask people to share their dreams with you, ask them what all challenges they face and try to overcome and ones they tell you then offer them genuine advise and give them some useful tips, always help someone with genuine heart never be disloyal with someone trust.

Chapter 8: PASS THE CREDIT ON TO OTHERS:

Author says that great leaders become great only when they take the blame when things go wrong and give credit when things go right, unsuccessful people blame when things go wrong and take credit when they win, your life is 100 percent your responsibility hence take the blame for every wrong move and give credit to others whose support made you reach the top, this will help you in long-term success.

Chapter 9: SHARE A SECRET WITH SOMEONE:

When you share your secret to someone, then that thing will make other people feel special and close to you, you can make it more powerful by saying that I shared it only with you because I trust you, this will improve your relationship and can form a strong bond.

Chapter 10: DO FOR OTHERS WHAT THEY CAN’T DO FOR THEMSELVES:

Helping others to get their goals will for sure strengthen your relationship, and if you do so in a way that they couldn’t have done by themselves, they will be even more thankful to you, hence help someone with a genuine heart.

(Original Source: Seeken.org)

Thank You